Because... I LOVE ME
In June last Summer I had just mentally ended my child bearing years and I had been running and eating well, I felt pretty good about myself. And then I bought myself a swimsuit. Ouch. I am a petite person in bone structure and as I stood in front on the mirror in my cute swimsuit I felt ashamed, I had at least 20 pounds to lose still. I had been trying so hard to be my best self and I wasn't surprised by what I saw, but I felt something, well a mixture of somethings... and it didn't make sense to me. I felt disgusted, I felt sad and I felt hope. Hope? Where did that come from? I really did feel it though. It was a glimmer, but it was there. My hope was that I could one day look in the mirror and like what I saw without negative feelings. I wanted to love myself and I thought that would be such a great accomplishment after 10 years of giving my body over to childbearing. I want to write that my motivation came from a place of true self love- but I really just wanted to be thin. Self love was in there somewhere and it began to grow stronger and I got to work.
I began to eat better, creating healthy limits. I thought deeply about these limits and stuck to them! As I did this I saw immediate results, the scale was changing and I was fitting better into my clothing. During the course of 3 months I lost 18 pounds. All of the comments and congratulations were encouraging and made me feel wonderful. My husband was a constant source of approval and that felt really good, I was really nice to myself too.
I am now in the month of April, 10 months after this transformation. I will put it in here that I was at 121 pounds and that to me was incredible!! I was at 132 when I got married, so this was beyond belief. I did that! I'm not sure how much I weigh right now. Last I checked about 2 weeks ago I was between 125-127. I have been able to look in the mirror and like what I see- I have walked past the mirror many times and been really happy with the shape of my body, almost surprised that it was my own reflection. I did it in a healthy way too!! So.... How am I feeling at this moment now that I have gained back some weight? I am feeling a bit ashamed and upset.... again! Why? I have told myself that I have failed the test of self discipline, why? If being ashamed of how I look was the only factor and motivation I had to drive me into losing weight I wouldn't have any problem losing weight! I have plenty of disappointments and moments when I question if I will even be able to sustain my weight loss, why? I never listened to those thoughts while I was losing weight! I was always so trusting of myself during that time because I could see results daily. It really is all about what I tell myself! That is the ONLY difference.
I have listened to Jody Moore, a wonderful Life Coach and I know now that I can choose how I feel. Also that I want to live my life now as if I already had the body that I want because it is the only way to skip through that self doubt and just get to work! I don't want to question myself and my desire for a healthier body and happier, more disciplined mind. I think she calls that "brain chatter". I am allowed to ignore those ugly thoughts that lead me to self loathing. I don't need them.
I am going to honor myself by setting a minimum baseline for eating and how often I exercise and I am going to have integrity to follow through because I am choosing to love myself. A minimum baseline is giving myself a small personal goal where I can 100% show honor and love to myself by following through. I do love myself and I do so much everyday to be my best self. I deserve to be respected and no one else can respect me until I respect myself. So, because I love myself, I am going to focus on being the healthiest person I can be and not just the thinnest. I know that I am in control and I can't wait to get started on this second phase of self love!
I am all in. I am going to set a baseline for these categories. Achievable goals that I will keep because I am important.
Here they are!
Exercise:
I won't let 2 days go by without me exercising 15 min. I want to exercise at least 3 times a week. Tabatas, walking, hiking, running.
Eating:
I eat between 12-6p. I have given up sugar completely- no matter what. I love fruit and will enjoy fruit as a treat when I want to! No limits. I won't tell myself a food is 'good' or 'bad' as long as it powers my body and sustains me. I have done the work to know what these foods are for myself.
Side Note- I will be applying to the Life Coach School next year and I am beginning this blog because I want to be my best self and I hope that someday I can read this and see the changes that I have made in my life and maybe help someone else in that process.
Here is the link: https://thelifecoachschool.com/ I am completely excited!
My minimum baseline for this blog is that I will write in it once a week.
I began to eat better, creating healthy limits. I thought deeply about these limits and stuck to them! As I did this I saw immediate results, the scale was changing and I was fitting better into my clothing. During the course of 3 months I lost 18 pounds. All of the comments and congratulations were encouraging and made me feel wonderful. My husband was a constant source of approval and that felt really good, I was really nice to myself too.
I am now in the month of April, 10 months after this transformation. I will put it in here that I was at 121 pounds and that to me was incredible!! I was at 132 when I got married, so this was beyond belief. I did that! I'm not sure how much I weigh right now. Last I checked about 2 weeks ago I was between 125-127. I have been able to look in the mirror and like what I see- I have walked past the mirror many times and been really happy with the shape of my body, almost surprised that it was my own reflection. I did it in a healthy way too!! So.... How am I feeling at this moment now that I have gained back some weight? I am feeling a bit ashamed and upset.... again! Why? I have told myself that I have failed the test of self discipline, why? If being ashamed of how I look was the only factor and motivation I had to drive me into losing weight I wouldn't have any problem losing weight! I have plenty of disappointments and moments when I question if I will even be able to sustain my weight loss, why? I never listened to those thoughts while I was losing weight! I was always so trusting of myself during that time because I could see results daily. It really is all about what I tell myself! That is the ONLY difference.
I have listened to Jody Moore, a wonderful Life Coach and I know now that I can choose how I feel. Also that I want to live my life now as if I already had the body that I want because it is the only way to skip through that self doubt and just get to work! I don't want to question myself and my desire for a healthier body and happier, more disciplined mind. I think she calls that "brain chatter". I am allowed to ignore those ugly thoughts that lead me to self loathing. I don't need them.
I am going to honor myself by setting a minimum baseline for eating and how often I exercise and I am going to have integrity to follow through because I am choosing to love myself. A minimum baseline is giving myself a small personal goal where I can 100% show honor and love to myself by following through. I do love myself and I do so much everyday to be my best self. I deserve to be respected and no one else can respect me until I respect myself. So, because I love myself, I am going to focus on being the healthiest person I can be and not just the thinnest. I know that I am in control and I can't wait to get started on this second phase of self love!
I am all in. I am going to set a baseline for these categories. Achievable goals that I will keep because I am important.
Here they are!
Exercise:
I won't let 2 days go by without me exercising 15 min. I want to exercise at least 3 times a week. Tabatas, walking, hiking, running.
Eating:
I eat between 12-6p. I have given up sugar completely- no matter what. I love fruit and will enjoy fruit as a treat when I want to! No limits. I won't tell myself a food is 'good' or 'bad' as long as it powers my body and sustains me. I have done the work to know what these foods are for myself.
Side Note- I will be applying to the Life Coach School next year and I am beginning this blog because I want to be my best self and I hope that someday I can read this and see the changes that I have made in my life and maybe help someone else in that process.
Here is the link: https://thelifecoachschool.com/ I am completely excited!
My minimum baseline for this blog is that I will write in it once a week.
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