Because... I LOVE ME
In June last Summer I had just mentally ended my child bearing years and I had been running and eating well, I felt pretty good about myself. And then I bought myself a swimsuit. Ouch. I am a petite person in bone structure and as I stood in front on the mirror in my cute swimsuit I felt ashamed, I had at least 20 pounds to lose still. I had been trying so hard to be my best self and I wasn't surprised by what I saw, but I felt something, well a mixture of somethings... and it didn't make sense to me. I felt disgusted, I felt sad and I felt hope. Hope? Where did that come from? I really did feel it though. It was a glimmer, but it was there. My hope was that I could one day look in the mirror and like what I saw without negative feelings. I wanted to love myself and I thought that would be such a great accomplishment after 10 years of giving my body over to childbearing. I want to write that my motivation came from a place of true self love- but I really just wanted to be thin.